Many men complain that women fall for the “wrong guy” and there’s a common saying that “nice guys finish last”. While I think there is a LOT of truth to both of these I am realizing that it may be best that things stay that way. The “nice guy” is hard to come by, a lot of them have been tainted by us women and there doesn’t seem to be an abundance of men who have a strong desire to keep themselves from being tainted. I think men are more likely to give up and stop trying instead of coming out of situations stronger.
And then there’s the “wrong guys”. I myself have tried my best to stay away from the guys that lie, cheat, beg and borrow with no good intentions. It’s not in my DNA to put up with much when it comes to negativity from the things mentioned previously. The other day it left me wondering, as it has in the past. ”Why do girls put up with guys who do these things”. What could possibly make a girl want to settle down with a guy like this.
I don’t think any girl generally wants a man who does “bad things” or “treats her badly” but women are somehow drawn to these types. A lot of people blame it on “daddy issues”, which may be a large part but I don’t think it’s the main reason.
As a women we have a natural desire to nurture as well as a natural desire to be more emotionally connected to things. I’m sure there are many exceptions to the rule but that’s the general premises that I’m basing my facts. My point being: Women are good at understanding and being compassionate, we have a general desire to want to help someone. When given an open opportunity with someone we’ve made an emotional connection with it’s hard to turn away from due to the “What ifs”.
- What if I could make him a better father.
- What if his depressed days got brighter because of me in his life.
- What if I can love him like nobody else ever has.
- What if he can end up being the man I’ve been searching for with just a few flaws.
I wonder what will happen if I support him through these tough times.
Yes, women have a natural desire to change men but it would be better explained by saying, “Women are naturally drawn to people who may need help”. As dumb as that may sound (even to ourselves), I think it holds a lot of truth.
Understand, I don’t think it’s right for women to be abused verbally or physically, I cringe at the very thought. For the first time though, I can embrace the fact that women choose the wrong men. I can only image what the world would look like if this wasn’t the case.
“Males represent 77% of homicide victims and nearly 90% of offenders.”[1] The fact that these statistics about men is so high is disturbing but it also leads to one of two points. Women drive men crazy (which we know to have some truth to it) or Women are less likely to commit murder and be a good example for the men in their lives.
The truth of the matter is, none of us are perfect, we can only hope to make the world a little better while we’re here and we’re going to do it one way or another with our natural gift to want to help. The problem with this scenario is when a women decides the man will never change and leaves. In that I say, do your best to leave a good mark in their lives with a desire to be better.
Footnotes
- ^ BJS.gov: http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf - Males represented 77% of homicide victims and nearly 90% of off enders. Date: 11/05/15
